Unexpected Class

This writing is about the lifestyle and unofficial class system of expat living and that it can cause a unique and unexpected culture shock at first. Here is an example. I was having trouble with the house and couldn't get any resolve from the landlord myself. Speaking to one of the other "Mums" at my kids school, she simply replied, "Well, why should you continue to suffer? Call your husband’s secretary and demand she take care of it straight away!" SECRETARY? My husband doesn't have a secretary. The look on her face was golden. This was an epiphany that I was up against more than just being an American in a foreign country, but an "average" one, one with a husband that was not an executive but rather just a WORKER. I guess you could call this Expat Snobbism (AKA Expat Class System).

Copy and paste this to your browser it is funny and says it all: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ9CxInz23Q&feature=response_watch

Expatriate life can be intoxicating but also come with certain expectations which can include knowing how to entertain, dressing the part, employ all the good table manners your mother taught you, and be cultural sensitivity with a truly international community. You have to learn/behave in a more savvy and experienced manner to be fully accepted - those thing and be expected to have a maid, gardener, personal trainer, and have to be invited and attend every social gathering.

Expats-to-be(certainly corporate sponsored families) will put you automatically on the social ladder and you must be prepared. That’s not just learning table etiquette but also relates to being a good guest for those out of your "class". If you want to fit into expat social circles is very often based on where that person fits into the organization or company which employs him (or her) or sent him abroad. Or not fit, as the case may be.

Like all forms of culture shock, you must strive for a period of adjustment which means acceptance of who you are and what you hope to achieve from your experience abroad. While you may not agree with social snobbery based on position, finance, or just how long one has been around, it comes with the territory. Remember that there are snobs ‘at home’ too. Likewise, there are unwritten Expat class systems.

Learn to rise above pettiness, gossip, and social cliques. This can be a tall order and you must get a thick skin. Keep focused on your goals and don't get caught up in competing socially or financially. Just be yourself and you will be accepted. Spend time with people that make you feel good and that you enjoy being around.

Finally, just as you try to put your outrage on the back burner towards the local customs that make you crazy, it’s best to do that with expat circles too. Remember that in all matters of culture, there is no right or wrong - just different. And that applies to members of an international community who make different choices in the way they choose to live abroad.